Disciplining Teenagers

Being a parent/carer can be a tough job at times.

Discipline is about teaching children how to behave as well as helping them understand the consequences of their behaviour

Children need clear boundaries to feel secure. By disciplining them from an early age we provide them with the opportunity of understanding our values as well as what is expected of them within the family, school and wider community.

If discipline is not part of a child’s life from the start it can still be implemented.

It is important that carers/parents are consistent in their approach to discipline. This creates greater security for the young person.

Tips

• Set out to help, not punish.

• As they get older, trust young people to find their own solutions.

• Listen and negotiate when appropriate.

• Praise positive behaviour.

• Criticise the behaviour not the child.

• Look after yourself – don’t overreact.

• Treat your child with respect and they will learn to do the same.

• Use humour when at all possible.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

• Listening is perhaps the greatest gift we can give a young person. This helps create a confident young person who is valued and values others.

Tools and Techniques

Strategies:

• Shouting raises emotions – back off and create some space. Discuss the issues again when both parties are calm.
• Be quietly assertive and explain your reasons, negotiate if possible.
• Praising positive behaviour and ignoring minor naughtiness will encourage a young person to seek positive attention – good behaviour should have positive consequences.
• As a last resort – 1 minute timeout for each year of age
• Withdraw a specific privilege – don’t go back on this – mean what you say – no means no.
• Avoid empty threats/negotiating a consequence.
• Be a good role model for your young person.

Who can help

School – guidance teachers can offer advice on how a more consistent approach between home and school can send the right messages to the young person.

Barnardo’s Scotland – Strengthening Families, www.barnardos.org.uk, 01382 436621

Dundee Early Intervention Team, www.aberlour.or.uk/dundeearlyintervention

Relationship Scotland – Family Mediation, www.familymediationonline.co.uk/contact.php, 01382 201343

Parent to Parent, www.parent-to-parent.org/index.html, 01382 817558

This information can be downloaded as a pdf booklet from this link.