Grove Young People's Voices

We asked our pupils to tell us the main issues they face that would have an impact on their mental health.

The main issues effecting young peoples mental health include friendships and peer pressures, social media, expectations verses their self-confidence, and their own anxieties. Added to this is the demand of school work and the ‘need to succeed’. Very often young people find it difficult to talk about how they feel, even with their peers. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and even depression.

What young people say they don't find helpful

• Comparing their young person to other young people.
• Getting angry and reacting.
• Being dismissive.
• Wanting to be over involved in an issue.
• Showing they are worried or anxious.
• Holding grudges, or being judgemental.
• Giving ultimatums.
• Repeated reminders about deadlines.
• Don’t keep asking how they are, sometimes space is needed.

Tools and Techniques

Parenting is a difficult job and knowing how to talk to your teen can be tough. Very often parents blames themselves, often questioning where ‘they went wrong’ or ‘what signs did we miss’, often wonder if things will ever get any better. Parents are biologically driven to protect their child, but in evolutionary terms, the protected child has to grow up and separate, hence the period of adolescence. For many parents Its about surviving the teenage years.

There’s no doubt that the way parents communicate with their young person will change. If you experience this, the rowing, the shouting, the melodrama or the silent treatment, it can feel very personal, but do not to take it as such. Always keep the channels of communication open. Take the time to learn their language and when they might want to talk.

As teens mature, they start to think more abstractly and rationally, they're forming their moral code. Parents of teens may find that kids who previously had been willing to conform, to please them will suddenly begin asserting themselves — and their opinions — strongly and rebelling against parental control.

Empathy can help young people understand that it's normal for them to be anxious, feel different or be self-conscious, and that it's OK for them to feel grown-up one minute and be like a kid again the next.

What young people said they parents can do to help

This list is not exhaustive, every child is different and its about knowing your child in order to make the best response to any needs.

• Encourage your young person to simply ‘do their best’.
• Help them put things into perspective.
• Understand and be patient.
• Listen, empathise and reassure.
• Show affection.
• Show that you understand their worries
• Allow young people to make, and learn, from their own mistakes.
• Give them more freedom to take responsibility.
• Give them space, keep calm and choose the moment to talk.
• Confidentiality is important, don’t discuss issues with others in the family.
• Don’t blame – know the full story, be openminded.
• Offer practical help and support especially when studying.
• Tough love is sometimes needed.

This information can be downloaded as a pdf booklet from this link.